Black Heart, Wounded Soul
by Shinigami's Oni
Summary: Yaoi, 1x2. Duo is a young man who has the ability to carry children, but what happens when Heero loses his memory...?
1. To Conquer Then Lose

Disclaimers: I own nada of the Gundam boys. Sunshine, Sotsu and others do. Hey! Who wants to go on a killing spree? No one? Oh. Okay.  
  
Author: Shinigami's Oni  
  
Muses: Fadd, Miggles, Nanashi and Rindy Rudey.  
  
Pairings: 1x2x1, 3x4x3 and 5x13. (If included, Trowa, Quatre etc will only be mentioned as secondary characters).  
  
Rating: R

Flashbacks: //  
  
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To Conquer Then Lose.  
  
  
  
As I gaze around the house that we share, I realise how lucky I am to have him. I refuse to let him participate in the demonstration; I will not have him die. For me to die is not a problem, but I shall not let him die when he has so much to give to the world. I smile faintly as my stare falls upon the bed. We have spent many nights in that bed, making love then falling asleep in each other's arms. He is my angel and I will always remain with him no matter what happens. Walking over to the bed I lower myself down on it, the springs creaking slightly in protest as I lie down. I close my eyes and relish the silence. All I do is think. I think of how beautiful he is and all his traits, it is not merely enough for me to remember them, I must picture them also in my mind.  
  
I had been surprised when I learnt that he loved me. It had been a strange thing for my mind to come to terms with and, in the beginning I did not even know whether I loved him. My body had responded strangely to the knowledge of love and at first I had fought against it. Merely touching him was enough for me; I never touched him in public, only in the privacy of our home. I would not even touch him in front of the other Gundam pilots who knew that we were engaging in a relationship. In a way I was embarrassed with myself. Inside I knew that it was right to touch the person you love in public, but it just did not seem correct in my mind. I believe that he respected my wishes and in return would not throw himself upon me in public, but would keep a respectable distance between us. After six months into our relationship, I ventured the first kiss. I remember it quite clearly...  
  
//We had been watching T.V and I had been able tell that he was bored. I had my arm around his shoulder and his head was buried in my chest, how had I been able to tell that he was bored? Well, that was down to careful monitoring of his emotions. When scared or bored he would play with the end of his braid and that was what he had been doing at that precise minute. He had been plucking at the fine strands with his fingers, then twirling the said hair about the end of his digits. I had sighed and shifted slightly, he had tensed for a moment then had settled down again. I had murmured his name and he had turned his head to look up at me. "Yes Heero?" He had ventured timidly, his eyes flickering from the T.V screen to my face.  
  
I had gazed down into his heart shaped face. Those exquisite deep blue eyes that nearly melted to violet stared up at me; his lips had formed a sort of questioning pout. I had thought then how beautiful he was and how stupid I had been to ignore him for all this time. "Nothing." I had replied and thought that he had looked vaguely disappointed at my remark. He had let out a deep sigh then began to turn his head back to the T.V screen. "No! Wait." I had bitten my lower lip as he had gazed up at me, a surprised look etched upon his face. He had cocked his head to one side, merely examining me, obviously attempting to work out the reason behind my strange behaviour.  
  
I had admitted to myself that I found him enchanting. The radiance reflected in those rare coloured eyes. The high, delicate cheekbones in a face that never appeared to age a day. His skin, a pale golden colour reflected his health and also enhanced his beauty. Chestnut hair that was tied back into a braid, that, oddly enough, suited him. On anyone else it would look stupid, but he managed to pull it off with ease. The way he moved. The elegance and fluency of a cat as he prowled warily around the house, around me. The cheerful smile that he wore as a mask, yet deep down inside he was just as quiet and solitude as I or Trowa are.  
  
"Heero?" His lovely, deep voice had cut through my thoughts and I had blinked dazedly before I looked down upon him. I had tried a tentative smile and he had gawked. Reaching out my trembling hand, I had brushed over the silken skin of his cheek and his eyes had grown wide under the contact. Encouraged by the rising blush on his cheeks, I had let my whole hand cup the left side of his face. His violet eyes had never left my blue ones as we stared at each other. I had felt as if I was attending the ritual of our souls entwining and becoming one. "I love you." He had whispered as encouragement to my burning ears.  
  
I had frowned slightly inside. I was still coming to terms with our relationship and yet here he had been telling me that he loved me. I had taken a deep breath then had leaned forward towards him. I had heard his sharp intake of breath and a pair of hands resting on my shoulders, I had thought that he was going to push me away, but instead he had pulled me closer to his body. I had felt his quickening heartbeat against my chest and warm breath against my face as I had closed the gap between us.

Leaning forward I had watched as his eyes had slid shut under the closeness of my face to his. His lips had parted slightly and I had felt his hot breath upon my face as I had closed my eyes also and pressed a gentle kiss to each of his eyelids, hearing him inhale sharply under my lip's caress on his sensitive skin. I still had one of my hands clasping his face and didn't remove it throughout the encounter. I had trailed my lips down to his right cheek, applying a slight amount of pressure as I kiss the silken surface. My lips had been dry from nervousness, as I had pressed them to him. The skin of his cheek had sunk inwards under my lips and I had smelt a fresh fragrance on its surface. I had then moved over to the other cheek and had given it the same attention. Pulling back slightly, I had seen the pink tint to Duo's cheeks his lips still partly open. I had found them enchanting and just stared, I had felt Duo stir slightly and his eyelids had flickered as if to open. 'No,' was all I had thought, then, again I acted on impulse.  
  
Carefully leaning back in towards Duo's body, I had flicked out my tongue and had gently traced his lip's outline with the tip of my tongue, relishing in the shudder that had convulsed Duo's body. Taking advantage of his open mouth, I had pressed my mouth to his at a slanted angle and had allowed my tongue to slide into his mouth. I had heard a startled gurgle from Duo and I had known that his eyes had opened, but I had ignored their gaze and continued my gentle ministration upon my love. In the end I had felt his body relaxing and his arms had wrapped around my neck, pulling me close to his body. The warmth inside his mouth was incredible, the fact that he was now willingly pressed against me in love aroused me and I had felt a sudden burst of blinding heat centring in my groin.  
  
I had carefully explored his warm mouth, gently running my tongue along the jagged edges of his teeth. My tongue, having enough of exploring his mouth, had leapt forward, eager to find Duo's dialect. As our tongues had met, I had felt a lightning bolt of pleasure snap down my spine, I had shivered, and had wanted to know how Duo could do this to me. Gently, Duo had rolled the tip of his tongue around my own and I had gasped. Duo had guessed that this was my first kiss and so he had taken control. Slowly Duo had embraced my tongue more, taking up its length and had then coaxed me into rolling my tongue around his. Duo had pulled back in the end, taking my lower lip between his teeth and nibbling upon it like candy. When Duo had let go he had looked down at my face panting. Being Japanese I am incredibly petite next to Duo. My final height of 5 foot 4 had been confirmed and Duo had reached 5 foot 8 and was still growing. I had gazed up with dazed eyes to see the reaction on Duo's face; I had been pleased with his look. Passion fogged eyes stared down at me from a flushed heart shape face. Duo's fringe fell over his eyes, lips parted, emitting harsh pants and his chest heaving from our long kiss. //  


That was I counted as our first kiss. Rolling over on the bed, I bury my nose into your pillow and inhale deeply. Your scent of coconut and mint from your shampoo and conditioner hung in a cloud around the pillow. The smell that is you personally, one of spice and herbs is apart of this room, a part of me. The musky, manly scent that rolls off your body in waves when we have sex envelops me. I can feel your presence beside me, even though you are so far away.  


Back then we had slept in different beds, but we still had nightmares. Sometimes Duo would have a dream about the Maxwell Church Massacre and would start screaming in his sleep. I would get out of bed and go over to his own, holding him close to my body. He would bury his face in my chest and have his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, his tears dampening my skin. I would stroke his hair and rock him backwards and forwards, he nearly always calmed down after I performed this exercise, the tears diminishing, but trembling intensifying. I would then carry him to my bed, he was in no condition to walk by himself and I would hold him until the trembling subsided. He would fall asleep curled up in a ball, head resting against my chest. That was the only closeness that I would allow, sympathy comfort, not love comfort.  
  
I sit up on the bed and look out of the window, a lone bird flew by the window and I watched it until it was out of sight. In a way I envied the bird, it could fly wherever it pleased without restrictions. I sighed; the colony that Duo and I were staying on wasn't so care free. The people were involved in protest against the Government and I was a part of it. Today I had agreed that I would be taking part in the demonstration, but Duo would not be for health reasons, everyone at the meet had sympathised and wished him good luck. What the real reason was though was that I didn't want Duo to be hurt, he also didn't know that this demonstration would, almost certainly, result in my death.

I want you to come in here, to hold me whilst I forget about the protest, forget about everything except you and the baby. The protest is something that won't go away though, the Government plan to destroy civilian houses, including Duo and mine's, to make way for a Palace. The colonies Government wants this world to become a colony ruled under by a sovereign, but the people don't want that. They want a colony ruled by them so that they can work out the best way to go forward.  


The Government however is powerful and the people are weak. The Government has any surviving Oz soldiers on their side and they have been training whereas the people have not. In reality they know that they will lose, they are just too afraid to admit it and I shall die alongside them fighting for the right to live your own life. It is something I have always wanted to do and I shall be proud to die fighting for something that I believe in.  
  
I smiled, I wanted my angel and child to be safe so I had contacted Une and she had said that she would be more than willing to come along and pick Duo up. She also said that she would bring Sally along to help Duo through his pregnancy and also to help me if I survived. I thanked her but told her that it wouldn't be necessary, although I still have a feeling that she went against my wishes anyway.  
  
//A year into our relationship and I had only just coming into terms with holding hands with Duo in public. I think that he was perhaps annoyed that it had taken me a whole year to become comfortable with just holding hands with him. We had been to the park on Duo's nineteenth birthday. I was still the same short arse; Duo was 5 foot 6 inches, which meant that he was 9 inches taller than I was. I was insulted by my height, Trowa, last time I heard had stopped at a monstrous 5 foot ten, Quatre was 5 foot 6 inches and Wufei was 5 foot 10 as well. Basically, I was the shortest and it pissed me off. The park was crowded with people and Duo and I had been sitting on a bench eating. Well, I wasn't, but Duo was. Trust that braided baka to be stuffing his face on his birthday. After he had finished eating his slice of triple chocolate fudge cake, he gazed at me expectantly.  
  
I had fidgeted slightly under his stare then fished in my coat pocket. I had smiled inwardly and retrieved the gift from my pocket. "Close your eyes." I had whispered, fascinated as he had blinked slowly once then did as I had bade. I had taken his right hand and had lain it flat out, people had crowded around our bench and I had motioned them away. They had done after giving me a pleading stare, but I had shaken my head no. I had stood up from the bench and knelt down in front of him. I had seen a wavering look of uncertainty flee across his face, but then it was gone.  
  
"Hee-chan?" Duo's voice had wavered uncertainly and I had smiled and taken his hand, placing a gentle kiss to the back of it. Removing my hand from Duo's, I had opened the small box in my hand and gazed down at the ring that glistened in the velvet cushion. Taking the ring from the box and poising it before Duo's ring finger on his left hand.  
  
"Duo, Open your eyes." His eyes had opened slowly and he gazed down in shock at the ring.  
  
"Hee...Heero. I..." I had placed a finger to his lips and he had silenced.  
  
"Duo Maxwell, will you marry me?" I had asked, my eyes never leaving his face as I did so. He had blinked again slowly and then had shaken his head no. I had felt shattered; what ever had I done to embarrass myself this way. I blinked back tears, I couldn't believe it.  
  
"Heero?" I had heard his heavenly voice and looked up in spite of my tears. I had scowled; I had felt like a complete idiot and had said so. He had smiled sorrowfully down at me then shook his head. "I am sorry Heero, but I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment yet." He had reached out and cupped my face in his hand, "But I am ready for this commitment." Duo had leant in and pressed his lips to mine in a pulsing kiss, regardless of the jeers and taunts we were receiving from the crowd. I had felt the ring being taken from me, then the cold metal being slipped onto my finger. I had broken away from the kiss startled. Looking up into his eyes confusedly, I had noticed the smile on his face. "This is my commitment. Heero Yuy, will YOU marry ME?"  
  
I had blinked, stunned beyond believe. Did Duo realise what that meant to me? I had fiercely blinked back tears and then throw my arms around his neck, pressing kiss after kiss to his lips. He had kissed back, totally undemanding, which annoyed me somewhat. I had pulled back from the kiss pouting and had folded my arms across my chest. His eyebrows had raised and I had known that he was silently asking me whether I accepted. I had nodded, I could not speak, and I was still in shock. Duo's face broke into a heavenly smile and he had whooped with joy. Standing up he had swept me off my feet and cradled me in his arms, gently pressing a kiss to my cheek. //

  
  
We are getting married in the year 200 A.C. on my birthday, when I become the age of twenty. Duo will be twenty-one. Duo has arranged for a honeymoon in Japan and I am happy. It was the 9th of January when Duo had proposed to me.  


Fourteen months into our relationship and two months into our engagement, we made love together for the first time. Duo had been wonderful, he had taught me everything I would ever need to know in one night and then, a month later, and I learned an astonishing fact about Duo. He was pregnant. He had the ability to create and carry children.  
  
//A month after the first time we had had sex, Duo had been snuggling up against my chest. We had just made love, we did that quite frequently back then actually, hell, and we have high sex drives! I had been dozing off when my hand had brushed across Duo's abdomen. He had gasped and sat up quicker than a bolt of grease lightning, just staring at me warily. I had frowned, this was not the first time that I had touched his stomach and he had appeared worried. "Duo? What is wrong?" I had stared confusedly up at him, and then he had broken down into tears. I had been frightened, but I had not shown it. I had pulled his unresisting form to my body, pulling the sheets around us and just rocked him backwards and forwards. When he had calmed down a little, he looked up at me and gave a weak smile.  
  
"Heero. There is something that I need to tell you." Duo had sat up and leant back on the headboard, sighing heavily. I had frowned and waited patiently for him to continue. "When I was little, my foster parent G liked to do experiments on anything that had a pulse. He came to the orphanage looking for me, claiming that a scientific genius J had managed to detect the signs of both sexes reproductive organs in me. To be blunt, on the outside I have the male genitalia and on the inside I have the female womb and ovaries. Don't ask me how, I just do okay? Anyway, my body is basically more complex than most and so that is why I have a phobia of hospitals. I don't want them to find out about me.  
  
G had liked the looks of me and had believed in J's theory so he adopted me. Four years passed before G was informed by the daily tests that he performed on me, that my eggs had fully matured and I could now carry children. The strange thing is that the eggs don't break down, they stay intact until they are fertilised by a male sperm. G had learned from J that it couldn't be just anyone that could produce children in me, it had to someone I loved. That was one thing G hadn't believed, he had paid men to sleep with me and ejaculate sperm into me to create life, but it just didn't work out that way.  
  
The first guy that I had had to sleep with seemed nice; he wasn't attempting to hurt me. I had thought I loved him, but my body had obviously thought otherwise. When he ejaculated sperm into my body I produced an acid that killed off the sperm in less than ten seconds, G had been infuriated. I had been starved for a week, but every time I had sex, the same thing happened, I would produce this acid that would kill off the sperm. In the end G became so desperate that he had allowed men to rape me, thinking that perhaps if my body was too weak that I would not produce the acid. It didn't work though. No matter how many men raped me, my egg wasn't fertilised and so I had not become pregnant.  
  
During the war when I had met you, I had realised that I loved you soon afterwards. When you slept with me a month ago I had thought that my body would reject your sperm, but it turns out that it didn't. I am carrying your child Heero."  
  
Duo had stopped speaking, he was avoiding making eye contact with me and I had felt weak at all this sudden knowledge, and my fiancé was pregnant. I had heard a broken sob and had looked sharply to my right. Duo was there, his face buried in his hands and his body shuddering with sobs. I had thought, 'I have a baby!' I had smiled as Duo looked up and he gaped. Duo had pointed to my smile and tried one of his own. I was happy with the knowledge that my boyfriend could create life. I had begun to laugh and Duo just stared dumbstruck at me, telling me that I wasn't his Hee-chan, I was an impostor. I had laughed harder and reached out to my angel, pulling him closer to me, burying my face in his hair. I think that Duo was more shocked than me at the news of a baby coming.  
  
I had pulled back from his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Aishiteru Duo. Arigato tenshi." I had kissed his face feverishly, it didn't matter to me that he was pregnant, he was still my Duo. He had kissed back just as desperately, I don't think that he realised quite yet that I wasn't going to give him up. Being careful as to not hurt my angel, I had guided him to lie back down on the bed and positioned myself carefully above him. Never breaking his gaze, I had ducked my head and kissed him fiercely, he was mine.  
  
Our lips still in a pulsing kiss I had gently penetrated the confines of his body, his passage still well slicked from our earlier lovemaking. He had gasped and broke from the kiss, his eyes filled with confusion. "Heero. Why?" I had smiled, Duo had honestly thought that I was going to leave him. I had bent down and whispered into his ear.  
  
"You are mine and nothing will take you away from me." I had felt the shudder that runs through his body as I had whispered those words filled with heat and possessiveness. We had made love again to each other again and then we had fallen asleep in each other's arms, our love strengthened by the new life in Duo. //  
  
  
  
The bedroom door opens quietly and I open my eyes to gaze up into the beautiful dark orbs of my lover. He smiles down at me and I smile back, the utter devotion and innocence reflected in those eyes never ceases to amaze me. He bends down and gently presses his lips against mine in a teasing, wheedling type of gesture. I know what this kiss is begging for, but I refuse to change my mind on the situation. Tearing himself away from me is never easy for Duo, but he always manage to do it somehow. "Hey, Hee-chan, baby. How about letting me go with you on this demonstration, hmmm?"  
  
I groan, Duo is running his hands up and down my thighs, gently pressing a hand to my groin and stroking my arousal through my jeans. He knows the thought of sex usually makes me agree to anything, but not this time. I grasp his hand and remove it daintily from my arousal; he pouts, folding his arms across his chest. Looking at me from puppy dog eyes, that appears to make me look evil. Well, I know better. I know that Duo is in fact a very spoilt puppy when it comes to having sex.  
  
I sit up on the bed and put my arms around his waist, pulling his body close to my own. Duo makes a surprised sound in his throat but lets me rest my head on his stomach. I close my eyes and listen for the sound of my baby in my love's stomach. I know that you cannot hear them, but to me that does not matter. Just the closeness to your unborn child and the person you love is enough for me, I have the fearful knowledge that I may not come back alive from the demonstration, so this time is precious to me. I sigh and turn my head away, as I do I press a gentle kiss to Duo's stomach through the T-shirt he is wearing. I stand up, my head only reaching his chest and he smiles teasingly at this knowledge. Then the smile falters. "Please Heero. Let me come with you baby." He pleads, I smile and turn back round.  
  
"No Duo. I am sorry but my decision stands final." I walk back over to him, I can see the tears glistening in his eyes and I know then that he is afraid. I smile; I don't want him to know that I am frightened too. "Stay here. Look after yourself and the babe." I reach out a hand and place it upon his abdomen, giving a smile as I did so. I look up into his eyes; "I will be back." I mummer, I know that inside I won't and deep down inside I think that Duo knows that this will be the last time he will ever see me. I hear a heartbroken sob from him and I watch, horrified, as he sinks to the floor in a ball.  
  
"Don't leave me Heero. Please don't leave me." Duo whimpers as he trembles on the floor, a bundle of emotions. I run to his side and crouch down beside him, cradling his quaking body in my arms.  
  
"Ssshhh Duo." I press kisses to the top of his head, inhaling the scent of coconut in his hair. I let out a deep sigh and close my eyes; I don't want to leave not when my life has become so perfect. I have a lover, I am engaged and I have a unborn child who may never know me.  
  
"Wha...what shall I call it?" Duo sniffles as he turns his head to look up into my now watering eyes.  
  
"If it is a girl call it Rei and if a boy call it Solo." I whisper, Duo nods and we sit in silence. Silences so quiet that we can both hear the clock downstairs chiming the hour. I slowly detach myself from Duo and he whimpers, his eyes growing wide with fright. His hands form into claws and he grasps my clothes, burying his face into there darkness.  
  
"Please don't go Heero. I love you so much." Duo whimpers into my tank top and I cup his chin in one hand and force his head up. I can see the pitiful, saddening look held in his tear filled eyes and I duck down and press my lips to his forcefully. I need to do this, to still feel his lips upon mine in the demonstration. We kiss long and deep for a few minutes then break apart, our chests heaving and our heavy pants filling the air.  
  
"I love you Duo." I smile at the look of wonderment that brings upon his face and pull myself away from him. He doesn't resist this time and I hold out a hand to help him up. He rises with the grace of a cat, but he already has one hand pressed over his stomach in a protective way. I press one last kiss to his tender lips and one to my baby in my lover's body. Then flashing him one last smile, I leave.  
  
I walk outside, a sudden jolt of realisation tore through my heart. I recall Duo's words. "Wha...what shall I call it?" Not we. I. I smother a sob, I will not cry, I will be strong for Duo and the baby. "Goodbye Duo." I murmur as I prepare myself for the demonstration.

  
It was the 9th May A.C. 198, at the time 15 hundred hours. A year and four months into our relationship and four months into our engagement when I last saw my fiancé and my unborn child...  
  
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Author's Notes: Laughs nervously. Please don't hurt me. Please, I have a family. All is not what it seems Heero will not die! I refuse to let him die and leave Duo all alone! Just have patience and they will meet again, just under different circumstances. Right! I need help!!! Will someone, at least someone, review my story and tell me whether I should continue or not, please!  
  
TBC...? 

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	2. Dusk Fading Into Dawn

Disclaimers: I own nada of the Gundam boys. Sunshine, Sotsu and others do. Hey! Who wants to go on a killing spree? No-one? Oh. Okay.  
  
Author: Shinigami's Oni  
  
Muses: Fadd, Miggles, Nanashi and Rindy Rudey.  
  
Pairings: 1x2x1, 3x4x3 and 5x13.  
  
Rating: NC-17  
  
Warnings: Lemon, gay sex!  
  
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Review Thank-you's  
  
Angel Selene, Az the crazed vamp, Ludicrous Nutjob, Duo Maxwell, Phoenix Storms, Dark Winged Angel01, Ellie, Duo Maxewell, Sam, Dyna and Hell's Little Angel.  
  
I just have to say that I will not be able to update for awhile because my laptop is down, but I will update as soon as possible, just not as soon as you would all like!  
  
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Fading dusk gave way to impending darkness and in the middle of it all in a house I sat, a lonely boy. Skeletal trees etched the night sky. Wind whistling through their bare boughs. The moon awakened blood red in the blackened sky. A frightening way to end a bloody battle in which no one had survived except that and me was by a fluke. I sat alone; there was no- one left to comfort me. I shiver, not because the incoming night was cold, but for a lost lover. I had watched my best friend and partner die. Death murmured words of warning, but I did not heed them. All I can hear is the pounding of the blood in my ears and the tears welling in my eyes at the remembrance of the boy whom I had loved.  
  
I grimace at the bitter taste of bile in my mouth; I had inhaled smoke that day. I felt that my lungs had become blackened by the evil, choking smog and I coughed. My hacking coughs shattering the silence of the house and I whimper at the echoes rumbling throughout my tomb. I had wanted to die, but my lover had forbidden me to come to the demonstration. "Stay here. Look after yourself and the babe." A tender smile had worked its magic across my lover's face, that and a gentle hand pressed against my stomach. "I will be back." I smirked, 'Yeah! You came back all right; a dead being is all you are now'. A sudden wave of realisation tore through my heart and I choked on a sob. Clutching my head in my hands, a few wisps of hair falling over my eyes, I wept.  
  
Sobs came easily and tears came even easier to me. Chests heaving as I drew in shaky breaths, only to release them in a wavering cry. Crystal tears fell from my closed eyes to the floor, making the black tiled floor shine with crystalline beauty. "Why did you die and leave me all alone? I loved you so much and you left me to look after the baby all by myself." A shocked gasp is emitted from my full lips and my head jerks up. 'The baby!' My hand flies unconsciously to my stomach and rests there, searching for the fluttering movement within. Although deep inside I know that I will not be able to feel this new life embedded within me for another four months. Another sob escapes from my lips. "How do I go on? I can't survive without you."  
  
The sound of the back door opening catches my attention and my head jerks up and I sit perfectly still on the stairs, frozen still like an animal caught in traffic lights. Harsh breathing echoes throughout the house and I close my eyes, nibbling at my lower lip. Footsteps click on the tile floor of the hall. I shrink into a ball, never removing my hands from my stomach. 'I promised him I would look after the baby and that is what I am doing.' The footsteps stopped, the echoes fading until only their breathing could be heard. A slight whimper rolls from my mouth and I open my eyes wide in terror, they would have heard that and it seemed that they had. Breathing turned up a notch, like the lolling panting of a dog and someone sniffing the air as if searching for a scent.  
  
Letting out a shaky sigh I decide to reveal myself to the person spying in my home, well, I say mine for the sheer fact that I am the only one left. Gathering all of my courage I stand up, eyes tightly closed. "I am here." My voice sounds strong for the turmoil of emotions I am was facing in my body. "Come and get me if you want me." The footsteps come closer, the tapping of heels louder on the tiles, then gentle fingertips run across my cheek, as if to make sure that I am real. Opening my eyes I get the biggest shock of my life. "Lady Une!" The high pitched squeal tumbles from my lips before I can help it. I curse myself inwardly as I see the smile upon her face at this show of utter surprise. "I...I thought that you had given up on finding us after the Mariemeia incident?"  
  
"No. We need you to come back down to Earth and stay with Quatre for a while, the Oz organisation is attempting to make a come back." She smiled a terrible smile at her comment and looked distant for a few moments before returning her full attention back to me. "Are you all right?" She asked carefully. She must have noticed my tear stained face.  
  
"Do I look all right to you?" I did not mean to sound so harsh and she actually looked quite hurt, then I gave a sigh. "No. Sorry. It's not your fault, I just..." As I ran my hands through my hair she turned to look back down the hallway.  
  
"We must go," Lady Une said bluntly. To tell you the truth she looked scared, but what in the world could the formidable Miss Une is scared about? Then I understood. The colony that Heero and me had decided to live on had its own difficulties with the Government and we had volunteered to help the citizens. They had excepted our help gladly. "Come! Quickly! Please!" I gaze mistrustfully up at her for a few seconds, then I hear it. The sound of gunfire upon the horizon and drawing closer. "The Government has managed to destroy the opposition, if you do not retreat immediately they will take you as a prisoner and execute you in front of all other rebels. Please, we must leave this place." She looked at me desperately; I nodded and stood my hand still over my abdomen. "Quick! Out of the front door and into the shuttle waiting. If the worst comes to the worst, take off without me. I know you Duo; you won't give up without a fight, but keep you and that goddamn kid you're carrying safe. You hear me?" I nod numbly then run outside, my heart pounding in my ears.  
  
'She knows about the baby. She knows about the baby.' A childish chant echoes in my head and I shake it desperately from side to side to get rid of it. I run up the stairs to the shuttle faster than grease lightning, then, I spy him. Heero lies no more than ten feet away from the shuttle, fuck Une and her 'Keep the kid safe.' I would give that all up just to have him again. I run back down those stairs even faster than before and Une runs out off the house screaming at me to get into the shuttle. I take no notice and continue my sprint over to my fallen Heero; Une follows me, calling me an idiot.  
  
I scream his name as I clamber over bodies, some not completely dead, hands grabbing my ankles telling me to put them out of their misery. I will reach my Heero, I will. I make it, breathing heavily and Une has a hold of my braid, but I made it no less. I scrabble around, tearing my fingernails off in the process, just to get to his body as I fall over, face first in the foul smelling puddles of blood. I scream triumphantly as I grab him around the waist, eager to look upon his face. I look on him all right. Head slouched forward over his chest and arms hanging limply at his side. "Baby?" I whisper. I can feel the tears already welling up in my eyes, I know and also have known that he would be dead if I found him. I let out an anguished howl and stand up among the bodies; the flies already collecting on the corpses take flight as I attempt to pull him up with me. I grunt under the stain, I can feel my muscles being stretched to their full advantage and boy, was I proud of them for holding out this long! I successfully get us to safe land and Lady Une yells at me to run to the shuttle and I do so, whilst slinging you over my shoulder like a sack of cement.  
  
Running up the gangway of the shuttle, I hear the sound of shouts calling after us. Telling us to surrender or be prepared to die. I scream back at them, "Bite me scum!" Then I am on board the shuttle with my baby and Une who was following closely behind. I sink to the floor with you in an exhausted pile while Une staggers to the control panel of the shuttle and puts the contraption on auto pilot and types some co-ordinates in, at the minute I am to tired to care were we are going. I look down on your serene face and smile. You are home where you belong in my arms. Une wanders back over to us, dark shadows under her eyes and I gaze warily up at her. I still do not trust her completely, yet she has saved me and my angel which I suppose makes her okay in my book.  
  
She bends down and attempts to take you away from me. I growl possessively and bring you closer to the warmth of my body; no one will touch you except me. She shrugs her shoulders and stands up fully, motioning for me to follow her with a toss of her head. I do so out of curiosity. She leads me to an examination room where, to my surprise, Sally stands waiting. She smiles when she sees me and then that glorious smile faded as she saw who I had in my arms. "Is he hurt badly?" She asked airily as she watched me place my lover on the table with the utmost care and sincerity. I growled deep in throat. 'That is what you are here for woman!' I think reproachfully to myself, sometimes Sally, although you had to have some decree of intelligence to be a doctor could appear quite dense. 'No wonder Wufei was always bitching about her.' I smirked, if I were in Wufei's shoes, I would most definitely bitch about her.  
  
I watch, eagle eyed, as she carefully strips you of your clothing, leaving you naked for the world to gaze upon. I narrow my eyes and fold my arms across my chest. I would not let Sally keep you for long. Her fingers gently prodding and squeezing whilst watching your face for any signs of pain, you showed none. As I watched, I nervously played with the necklace you had given me as a present. There did not appear to be any wounds on you either except for bruises and cuts and the fact that you had concussion. Sally didn't seem completely satisfied though. She asked whether she would be allowed to x-ray you, I said yes and she smiled and thanked me. Sally tells me that the procedure may take at least forty-five minutes to complete, so she tells me to wait outside. I do so after one last look at my Hee-chan and plonk myself down in the corridor. I remember a night long ago, the night that our unborn child was conceived.  
  
//Heero's beautiful face hovered above mine as he pressed lingering sweet kisses to my lips. I was never afraid when he was around, at that precise moment I had my arms laced around his neck and my head thrown back so that he could kiss my throat, an act that I was once terrified off. I remember Heero's low moan of pleasure cut off, as he bit his lower lip to stop it, when I touched his erection and ran my fingers along the velvety underside. My fingers, lips and mouth were assaulting him everywhere. I don't think Heero knew just how sensitive he was until that night.  
  
Me assaulting Heero's neck. I didn't realise just how proud that I would feel upon seeing my marks upon his untainted body. The way he let my tongue run from the base of his ear to the juncture between neck and shoulder. Moaning at me to fuck him, but that wasn't the case. It was I who wanted him to fuck me. My teeth gently grating over the pale skin of Heero's neck, feeling his pulse as his heartbeat quickened under my caress. I then bolded my actions, nipping at his neck, feeling him quiver under the sheer intensity. Hearing Heero's whimpers of pain as sometimes in sheer carelessness, I broke the skin of his neck and tasted blood on my tongue. I kissed the bites better; I didn't want him to be in pain, I wanted him to enjoy himself.  
  
I had kissed my way down to Heero's chest. The tanned skin of his heritage tasted salty as a faint sheen of sweat already coated his body. I rubbed my cheek on the firm expanse of his chest, giving a contented sigh as I did so. Then I spied one of his bronze nipples; I smirked and rose from his chest. Looming over Heero's body I watched his face as I ducked my head and blew a warm blast of air across Heero's right nipple, he had gasped and his hand reached up to grab my shoulder. I had stared gleefully at the look on his face, from this minor caress. What would Heero be like when I tried something a bit more energetic? Ducking my head I had swirled the tip of my tongue around Heero's nipple, feeling it harden under the heat. Heero had gasped and his fingernails cut into the skin of my shoulder, I had grunted in discomfort and Heero had released his grip on me, I had smiled softly, he obviously had not want to hurt me.  
  
Flicking my tongue across Heero's nipple, his body had jerked and I had stared, satisfied at the pert nipple before me, but yet, it was not enough. Bowing my head over Heero's chest again, I had drawn the said nipple into my mouth, gently suckling at the nub. Heero had panted out my name and tangled his fingers in my hair, pulling me closer to his body in his desperation for pleasure. Swirling my tongue around the nipple Heero had groaned appreciatively, his fingers gently pulling on my hair. Detaching myself from Heero's chest I had kissed a path down to his stomach and then past his erection to his thighs.  
  
Thighs that had quivered under my lips caress and Heero's incoherent noises of pleasure drove me on to progress to the next stage. I had stared longingly at his erection, the pre-come fluid weeping from the tip that begged to be tasted. Submitting to my urges I had ducked my head and lapped up the bead of clear liquid that stood out prominently, Heero had gasped and had tried to thrust up into my mouth, but I had placed my hands on his hips and held him still. The taste was bitter, but also somehow sweet at the same time. I didn't quite know how to explain its flavour. I examined Heero's face. The tightly shuteyes and flush to his face, it made me wonder what I had been missing for all this time. Deliberately taking things slowly, I had taken merely the head of Heero's cock into my mouth and gently sucked upon it. Rolling my tongue around the tip, I had relished in his whimpers and his never dying attempt to thrust up into my mouth. I had inserted the tip of my tongue into the slit and eagerly awaited the arrival of more pre-come fluid in reward for my ministrations. Heero had whimpered at my teasing and I pitied him, well, almost.  
  
"Du...Duo, please." Heero had whimpered and I had smiled around his erection, giving a shrug of my shoulders, I had begun to draw in the long length of his cock into my mouth and Heero had let loose a wild cry. When I had taken as much of him as I could, I had then ran my tongue along the velvet underside and I had listened to the pants and whimpers of pleasure. I had smiled. It was so good to be in control. Drawing my head back until only the head of Heero's cock remained in my warm cavern, I had swirled my tongue around the end then swallowed him up again. I had worked this up into a rhythm and he had just lain there and whimpered, biting at his lower lip. I had felt his thighs trembling on either side of my head and had released Heero's cock; I hadn't wanted him to come just yet. Heero had whimpered in protest and opened his eyes dazedly. I had smiled, he had never been taken, I had been able to tell that much.  
  
"Duo?" Heero watched my back as I had clambered off the bed and walked to the chest of drawers on the other side of the room. I didn't reply there was no point. Opening the second drawer I had rummaged through it, searching for the lube. I had grinned maniacally when I find it. Turning around I had used my butt to push the drawer shut then I had walked steadily back over to the bed, although the erotic sight of a naked Heero lying on sheets with his legs spread wide had nearly made me come, I resisted the urge.  
  
I had climbed back onto the bed, the mattress sagging beneath our joint weight. I had sat back on my haunches and Heero had watched as I undid the lid to the tube. Heero had licked his lips nervously and I had given him a reassuring smile. I had used a lot of lubrication, more out of my paranoia more than anything, the fear of being hurt again. Heero hadn't known what to do so he just watched while I generously coated my hand in the substance then groaned as I ran my fingers up the cleft of my ass and had moaned as I penetrated myself with one finger. I grimaced I was incredibly tight. I could feel the walls of my passage pulsing around my finger and it felt incredibly hot. I had started to withdraw the finger from my passage, then rammed it back in. After a few minutes I added another and started to fuck my fingers as I grew used to the sensation of being filled once again. I had stretched myself further by making scissors movements with my fingers then I withdrew them fully from my passage.  
  
Coating my hand again with the chill lube that warmed up quickly in my hand I grasped his cock unexpectedly and Heero had yelped as I squeezed it purposefully. Rubbing my hand up and down slowly Heero sighed and allowed me to continue. When I felt that he was prepared enough, I gently crawled over his body, my shadow casting darkness over Heero's passion fogged eyes and I kissed him slowly. Heero sensed my desperation and also my fear and caressed my cheek, telling me that everything that would be all right. I smiled, here Heero was telling me that it would be all right and he didn't know the first thing about sex. I almost laughed, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.  
  
Sitting back slowly on my haunches, I closed my eyes and grasped Heero's cock in my right hand. I heard him gasp and I could feel his stomach muscles quivering beneath me. I positioned myself; licking dry lips then gently lowered myself down. The head of Heero's cock had felt obtrusive, but I willed myself to relax. The head of it penetrated my body and I bit back a cry of pain as I took him in deeper. I felt my body relaxing slightly and the rest of Heero's length passed into me with ease. I felt hot tears roll down my face as I nibbled my lower lip. I realised that it didn't matter how old I would get, I would never be able to take a cock without pain.  
  
I stayed still to avoid pain from the intrusion and he had seemed to respect that as I placed my hands on his taunt stomach and panted heavily. I could hear Heero's harsh breathing in my ears and it sounded so lust filled that I chanced a look up into his eyes. They shone with undisguised love and passion for me, the lowly street whore. I had nearly burst into tears then, to my surprise Heero had rolled us over. I now lay breathless beneath him. Heero had pinned my wrists above my head and I had my legs wrapped around his waist. "Move." I had whispered hoarsely to him and he had done as I bade, drawing back slowly from the heat of my body until only the head of his cock remained in my body.  
  
"Do you want this?" Heero had murmured thickly, as he stared down into my face.  
  
"Yes! Now!" I had shouted impatiently and Heero had thrusted back in, moaning momentarily at the heat and tightness that had enveloped his cock. I had closed my eyes and waited, the pain would come, and it always did. I had draped my arms around the back of his neck as he had thrusted in and out of the warm sanctuary of my body. Moaning out my name as he surrendered to the pleasure that overrides his body as, in the end, do I. I had bought up my head gently nipping at the side of Heero's neck, licking at the salty sweat on his skin, he had groaned appreciatively and in return changed his angle slightly to aim for my prostate. I had bitten down hard on the juncture between his neck and shoulder as he jabbed the place, making lightning bolts of pleasure snap through my spine. I heard a grunt at the pain of my bite and I can taste blood in my mouth, not that I really care of course.  
  
I gasp and pant as I have the best sex that I have ever had in my life. Heero was so gentle as he thrusted in and out of my body, moaning and telling me how tight I am. "You...Are...So...Tight." Heero had panted as you moved in and out of me; each word punctuated with a thrust that caused the small of my back to rise off the bed. "I...I can't...Hold on much longer." I could tell by his quivering muscles that he wouldn't, so I had grasped his hand and bought it to my own erection.  
  
"Please." Was all I needed to whisper before he began to firmly pump my straining erection in his fist? I moaned lowly as I tossed my head from side to side as I felt my own body become a cavern of pleasure. I was feeling the pleasure of being taken up the ass and then the pleasure of the man I loved firmly manipulating my cock. I could feel cold sweat on my brow as he used his thumb to gently roll around my cock head, bringing forth more pre-come fluid from my already weeping cock. I had sobbed as Heero slowed his pace, then cried out in ecstasy as he quickened it. "Oh God...I...I'm going to...Heero!" I cried out his name long and clear as the ultimate shock wave of pleasure surged through my body. I came all over his stomach and hand. My eyes rolled back in my head as I rode shock wave after shock wave of intense pleasure.  
  
My muscles clamped down on him and he came a few minutes after me of more exquisite squeezing from my rectum. He called out my name hoarsely as I felt his seed coating my inner passage and then I realised what we had done. No, more to the fact what I had done. //  
  
Fifty-five minutes later you are bound to wake up sometime soon but my brain is numb with knowledge. Sally x-rayed you and did some other stuff too, I don't know what, she wouldn't tell me. All I know is that when you wake up you won't remember me anymore, you will have lost any existing memory of everything, including me and that saddens me deeply. Hot tears roll down my cheeks and I press a hand to my stomach. I want to wrench out the babe growing inside me; this is the old you, not the new and I will be damned if I can wait two years for you to fall in love with me like the first time.  
  
I knew that once my angel was told what I was, he would reject me. Perhaps even tell me to be sent away as an exile, but no. I told him one night in bed after we had just had sex that I was pregnant and he had seemed surprised at first but then he had smiled for the first time. I had commented on it, astounded by the way it lit up his face and then he had laughed. A full, rich laughter that was music to my ears, then he had kissed me, long and deep. He had then made love to me again and after that we held each other and he told me he would never let me go. I laughed bitterly at this last memory by my part. He wouldn't remember the baby or me, he would probably be frightened or confused and what about the others? Trowa, Quatre and Wufei would have to be told.  
  
The sound of a voice interrupted my thoughts and I scowled. Looking up, I saw that it was Sally. She gave me a nervous smile before speaking. "He is awake." My heart froze and then it bled. I broke down into tears and managed to choke out.  
  
"He doesn't remember me or the baby does he? DOES HE?" I screamed the last bit at her and she winced, then gave me a mournful smile.  
  
"I am so sorry." I cried harder and she held me. I clung to her like a baby does to his mother.  
  
"I want it out Sally. I can't live with it. I want the baby out!" I sobbed; I didn't want the baby anymore. I wanted it terminated.  
  
"No!" Sally sounded shocked with me. "You keep this child and I will make sure you do. Now, I am taking you to see him. You must still love him, don't you?" Sally looked down worriedly at me.  
  
I take back what I said about Sally earlier on she is brilliant. "I'll never stop Sally. I'll never stop." Those were the lost words I murmured before I blacked out. Outside the confines of the shuttle, a new day was beginning.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
Author's Notes: This came out last night and I am scared! I don't know whether to continue or stop or what. Only you can help me. Should I continue this crap or give it up?  
  
TBC...? 


	3. Points Of Authority

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Author's Notes: Okay people, no need for threats anymore, I am updating Black Heart Wounded Soul! This chapter will be quite short, but I am already planning the fourth, which should be out soon, well, sooner than this update! ^.^;;;

Thankyou to all my reviwers ara! Sorry I can not mention you all now, will do in next chapter!

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Black Heart Wounded Soul Part Three- Points of Authority.

"Sir!" The young soldier saluted to his superior upon entering the room. The other stared silently out upon the inexperienced warrior from night's moon kissed shadows. "Project C983F has been successfully executed on pilot Zero-One, he has no recollection of the pilot Zero-Two, otherwise known as Duo Maxwell."

Silence as thick as a curtain echoed in the chill laboratory and the soldier shifted slightly under the piercing stare of his official. "You have removed him from this place and taken him to the allocated position, I take it?" A quiet whisper, one of dead leaves hissed through the silence causing the soldier to stand abruptly to attention.

"Yes sir!"

"Excellent, you have done well but you are no longer needed." With the speed of a striking snake, a gun emerged and was fired. A strangled cry left the dying soldier's throat as he fell, clutching desperately at the one object that kept his heart beating throughout war. A simple thing: a photograph. A portrait of his family. A family he would never lay eyes on again.

With a self-satisfied smirk from the superior to the now-dead soldier, the man stepped down from his perch; his eyes narrowing as he bent down to retrieve the picture from his dead soldier's hand. He stared, captivated at the smiling people dressed in bright clothing in the picture. Bright colours that now mocked him. He scowled as his heart hardened and the grimace contorted his proud features.

"No Zero-Two, you cannot have contentment, peace and prosperity. Your Zero-One does not remember you and when the time is right he shall destroy you." Again the evil twist of lips occurred on the man's face. "Also this unborn child of yours aggravates me, we shall have to arrange a premature birth for our little angel won't we?"

The man's evil smirk fledged in to a maniacal grin as he pictured the future. A dazzling future. A future with no taunting nightmares that involved the God of Death… 

****

TBC…


	4. Awakening to Nightmares

Author's Notes: I hereby declare that I do not own Gundam Wing or any element of the show *sigh* oh well, one can dream..  
  
Black Heart, Wounded Soul.  
  
I can hear voices in my world of dreams. They take flight, battered and broken like leaves in a storm. Some words the voices murmur make no sense to me, others hurt and others make my skin crawl, but one voice shines through all the others, a man's voice. I hear him weeping softly, "Don't leave me Heero. Please don't leave me." I collect my memories, I do not know who this Heero is but I realize that he must be someone important to this man, someone close to his heart.  
  
Above me I can hear a low woman's voice. I know that this is reality and not a voice from my mind; it is too kind and understanding to be from there. A feeling of nauseous hysteria wells up inside me and I peel my eyes open to gaze a woman, a woman with rich blonde hair cunningly twisted to fall about her shoulders. Her eyes, a cornflower blue, regard me with a cautious wariness, she does not trust me, and it is clearly evident in her posture.  
  
"You have awakened then?" She turns to retrieve a clipboard from a nearby table and stands there, clasping the thin board to her breast. I merely stare at her, I feel suddenly shy, I do not know why I am here, I do not feel injured in any way, so I sit and stare. She clears her throat then sighs. "What is your name?" She asks me, her voice wavering as if on the edge of tears.  
  
I open my mouth to answer then I stop, my brows creasing in an attempt to remember. I break eye contact with her; I cannot stand to see this woman gazing at me so critically. "I do not know." I whisper into the cold silence and she draws in a breath, long and harsh to my ears.  
  
"You cannot remember Duo? Please tell me you know who he is!" She pleads to me as if pleading to the heavens, again my brow creases in concentration, the name though does not ring true.  
  
I shake my head in confusion, "Sorry, but I do not know who you speak of." The woman sighs in disbelief, and then she turns, her face a well of sorrow.  
  
"How do I tell him?" She whispers into the silence, her head bowed in thought. I shift slightly in my bed, I feel uncomfortable in this cold silence and I cough slightly to gain her attention and she turns, one delicate eyebrow raised.  
  
"What is your name?" I ask of her an edge of a timid child in in my tone.  
  
She smiles softly before answering me. "My name is Sally. Sally Po." We both turn to look at the door as a dull thump is issued from outside and I crane my neck to see past Sally's figure. "Duo." Sally turns to face me, a sad smile playing upon her lips. "I have to go and see someone a moment, he will be wanting to see you."  
  
"Who is this Duo?" I ask Sally, for some reason that name arouses something inside of me, that name makes me shiver with something like excitement.  
  
"Duo is a young man whose heart will be broken by the truth." I frown slightly at Sally's reply and as I open my mouth to ask what she meant by that cryptic statement she exits the room leaving me alone to think. Exhaustion is something that I have been warding away for the past few minutes but now its grasp is upon me and I slip away to the land of dreams where the unfamiliar voice of a boy cries out to Heero, a boy I feel that I should remember.  
  
*  
  
"Heero?" I frown at the sound of that voice, that voice sounds so familiar to me and yet so foreign also. I raise a hand to rid myself of an itch and suddenly I felt my hand being encased in a warm grip. In surprise I open my own eyes and stare upon a young boy who gazed at me tenderly, his violet orbs bathing me in love. "Heero? It's me, Duo."  
  
I smile slightly to myself, so this is the boy that Sally was telling me about and then I jerk in surprise as Duo gently kisses the back of my hand and buries his face into my palm murmuring to himself. "Thank you God for letting him remember."  
  
"Duo!" I watch as the youth drops my hand down upon the blankets, his face flushed with embarrassment at being caught as he stares at Sally. "So, Heero remembers you then?" Duo turns to gaze down on me, his lips curling into an angelic smile.  
  
"Heero, you remember me don't you?" I avert my eyes from his gaze but Duo continues to gaze into the distance oblivious to my avoidance to the question.  
  
"So Heero remembers the baby?" Sally asks of the violet-eyed boy and at the mention of a baby Duo smiles lovingly and places one hand upon his abdomen, gently caressing the flesh through cotton.  
  
"Mine and Heero's baby," Duo whispers to himself more than to anyone else and I frown. 'Who is this Heero? Is.is it me?' Duo stands to gaze at Sally through ecstatic eyes. "Heero does remember me," the words were spoken firmly leaving no room for argument.  
  
"Who is Heero?" I whisper softly, the silence left in this questions wake unnerves me; I pull the blankets closer to my body so that I may hide away from those smoldering violet orbs.  
  
Duo stares at me transfixed, his eyes widening further as he realises the truth behind my confession. The hand that rests upon his abdomen clasps tighter at the desert of black cotton, his knuckles blanching white at the sudden revelation of my words.  
  
"Duo." There is a warning compassion held deep within Sally's softly spoken words and I stare at the boy beside me.  
  
"You mean you lied to me?" Blazing violet eyes meet mine and I cower under their intense gaze. "You told me that you'd come back to me and now you can't even remember who you are! Tell me you remember the baby?" I mouth the word no and Duo freezes, his eyes dulling to a faded blue before he turns to the door his voice speaking harshly. "God knows that you wouldn't remember me hell, you probably can't even remember that I was you're first fuck!" The words stun me, those syllables uttered with such conviction that even Sally is astounded.  
  
"Duo." Sally reaches out to him but Duo evades her grasp, as swiftly as a snake he exit's the room, his eyes searching mine for one last time before he departs obviously not finding what they were searching for. I wanted to call after him, reach for him and hold him. I wanted to tell him my name, but what use is that when I cannot even remember who I am.  
  
TBC. 


End file.
